I litterally sat in my office on the floor almost in tears a few months back…
I was confused, hurt, and felt lost. Why? I failed at one of the biggest things I had ever tried to do…I poured everything into a dream (I believed would take off): time, effort, ideas, sweat, blood, tears, and got nothing back in return but a list of hard lessons. I was down to absolutely nothing. NO THING!
Have you ever gave something your all (be it a dream, relationship, etc), and you were left empty and confused? If you have, welcome to the club. You are not alone!
I didn’t know what I would do… I invested everything I had into this dream, and it collapsed right before my eyes (I now know It was supposed to). I tried talking to mentors, friends, coaches, and a bunch of people about the pain I felt and none really had solutions. Isn’t it rough when nobody has an answer for you? Or worst, how about when people judge you when you are at your lowest point?
Little did I know that this hard place is exactly where God wanted me to be. I was reminded of a favorite passage a professor shared with me back in college, “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you…” Matthew 6:33, NKJV
Without trying to be
too spiritual… let me confess, it is hard seeking God when your reality says something different. It’s hard trying to discern God’s plan when you can’t trace God. But, it is true! God doesn’t leave nor forsake. I found comfort in knowing there was peace in focusing on God rather than my circumstances.
Then one day in my office, I walked up to my whiteboard and asked myself this, “What has brought you the most pain in life?” Before I knew it, I had written a list extremely long of items that brought me pain in my life. I wrote:
Feeling misunderstood…Rejection…Broken Family…Depression…Misfit…Lack of resources…Abandonment…Starting to relate yet?
The list went on and on until I realized that the things that most pained me in life are the same list I was most passionate about (where I wanted to do my work).
It clicked. “Go where those people are…those who feel how you felt throughout life…and spread hope! Take LOVEBEYONDWALLS!” In that moment, a new dream arose! A dream where if I were at rock bottom or on top of the world… I would be at peace! It was a God-given dream to take love to the misfits of society. But, here’s the catch. It came from pain!
What do your pains tell you? Do you run from them, or embrace them? What if God could use your unique pains to lead you to your destiny?
This is why #lovebeyondwalls exist! God revealed a greater plan in the midst of my pain, and God can do the same for you. Are you a misfit, been depressed, have a broken past, etc…? If so, welcome to the club. You may have experienced pains that may lead you to provide hope to others.
As I reflect on what I have written above, I am even more convinced to
go homeless! Not for myself, but because God is using my pain to bring hope to a people who are often times forgotten about. I have four more days…Pray for me!